There has been a lot of agony lately since the passing of my grandmother. Life doesn’t seem the same anymore without her around. Its quiet and lonely world. This past Mother’s Day, I let my mother be by herself to reflect the sorrow and the heartache feeling of life – unfortunately life still doesn’t feel the same.
For the first time in my life things just don’t feel right, uncanny isn’t it? Purely its a sign of things to come, the adjustable bubble wrap and the styrofoam jsut don’t match the linen on the table top for some reason. Perhaps, I’ve had a mid-life crisis along since, my late grandfather passed away 20 years ago, even longer when my uncle passed away in the 1980s and my aunt perspectively in the late 1990s.
Family members passing and hard times in todays world just doesn’t seem to cut the red tape as relative dangerous world evolves around todays time on earth. Wars are being fought for various reasons, the housing bubble and collapse with the mortgage crisis didn’t make things any better than, chew gum on Wrigley Field.
I always wonder what God has planned for the second term of life as I get older, wiser and smarter than the average 737 that flies our friendly skies? Heavens Gate is only the answer to those who truly seek the immortal answer from a higher power of life, as the trinity of life surpasses the reality factor of one’s choice for a life long field of dreams.
My grandmother always used to say, “dream as you follow your dreams, but never give up the dream you really want in life”, perhaps she was right? Perhaps the thought of ones dreams could be a reality with a little extra help from a heavenly soul? God’s freedom allows all to be free and to express themselves in way they want to be in life? As we get older life’s crisis meter gets stronger and tougher to gamble in the art of Vegas odds.
My life seems strange as I look back from childhood to adult years, nothing compares as they are today as they were back in the “wonder years”. High school was a different story, college was a short term ripple effect in the Grand Canyon purging into the Snake River.
Next month is coming fast and behold my mid-life will be smack dame right in the middle of my 40s. I can’t believe I’ve lived this far in life and watched a generation go by without much fanfare and guilt. Memories of the Vietnam War, Richard Nixon’s resignation from the White House over the Watergate Scandal, Gerald Ford succeeding Nixon as President of the United States, JFK being assassinated by a lone gunman, Martin Luther King’s dream became a reality when Barack Obama took the White House from G.W. Bush made American history a prime target for hecklers.
History plays an important role in the memory of one’s life – being in midlife, brings the joy of story telling to kids that wonder what the world was like before them. The grandkids wonder what their own stories of life would mean to them as a generation grows among them. Perhaps, I’m just fiddlin’ down in the south in the jersey shores of memory lane? – Its a good feeling to remember the important documents and creations of life from 40 years earlier, life is just that – LIFE.