Shockwave – the day after

heaven-newearthI’m trying to cast some light of what all has transpired since, my Mother passed away early yesterday morning.

The surreal of shock in a way, I’ve probably felt, once before, when my late-grandfather passed away in the early 1990’s? – “the spiritual jolt of life.”

As for yesterday, things seem to not have hit me like it did, when my grandfather passed? I keep asking myself, “why?” How could it be possible not to receive the same magnitude of spiritual or paranormal power, the body has once experienced in the past, while the passing of another family member who died some years earlier?

Perhaps, this was a different magnitude of strength – spiritually? Nor was it something less powerful, than, that of my grandfather? Life is bitterly strange at least to say.

Perhaps – its reality? The reality of one’s mindset, the energy and strength between family members and more? Only God would know the answer to that very same question?

It’s an answer, I could not possibly explain while on a wimpy state of mind, all while the pie bakes in the oven of forsaken thought!

“A shock, a magnitude,” the harsh realities of life becomes increasingly insane with “the questions of why.”  “Why me, why now? Why couldn’t be someone else” – but, not those of my immediate family?

I hate to see my Dad going alone of the agony of not having my Mom around the house and the dog’s not having their favorite best friend, to snuggle and cherish their voice to the commands they’re used to hearing during their daily lives as man and women’s best friend.

It saddens me to be away from home, while dealing with my own battles with life and with Cancer. Hoping, that one day – I would be cancer free, not just in the presence of heaven, but on this Earth, the very planet, we dwell and live our lives among God’s universe.

It’s hard to imagine this all took place, a solid couple of days, before the 17th anniversary of September 11th, 2001. A day where the world watched in horror, the tragic events of the World Trade Center attacks in New York and Washington, D.C., at the Pentagon that killed dozen’s of innocent civilians.

I just realized, as I started writing this blog article, the date of infamy was closer – all while forgetting, it was still September.

Somehow, I know for the benevolence of my own mind, she’s in a better place, where pain is free and life is cherished as she would’ve wanted in life here.

Her life here was overwhelmed with the joy’s of being with family and friends, that were close to her, as I grew up in my childhood and adult years of life.

I know, she would’ve wanted to stay around longer to watch my cousin’s kids grow up into smart and decent kids, as well into their adult years, and myself to one day marry and have kids of mine own and to see her grandkids for the dear life she wanted before she even thought about life after death.

These would’ve been her dream. The dream, she always wanted in life.

It makes me wonder how she can see the impossible dream from a far? I guess it comes with the territory of life of watching a loved one cherish into life as they pass on spiritually, if not impossible? How is it possible from heaven?

“…, God’s magical ways of eternal life, from a far…,” go figures!