Category Archives: Writing

Shockwave – The void


writing-desk-santiago-chileIt’s intimidating enough, the void’s of life have changed the name of the game.

Every since, my Mom passed away, those void’s haven’t been holding up well, even though, it has hit my father hard as his life has been completely changed by the recent events of my Mother’s passing of the torch to the lights of heaven and its holy grace at the gates.

Life for us both has been saturated and bestowed in agony and loneliness, as we live on opposite sides of the country.

With dreams now shattered to shreds, not knowing what life would’ve been like, if my Mother hadn’t passed away and I had the loving chance of seeing her personally over the upcoming holiday’s, after being away from home for nearly two-years. She would’ve been thrilled, as, if I were just returning home from deployment in the Military.

The change of time, space and fading memories came sooner, than, one had ever thought possible in life. “There’s sense,” some day – “life will bring us back as one, as we leave this world for the new life elsewhere in the heaven’s,” as my Dad would say in our daily conversations with one another. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like in the “holy spirit of paradise.” Something, I’ve yet to understand?

I’m neither mad at life, nor, am I mad at God or the heaven’s. “It’s a way of life, as we live our lives here on Earth, has God created and gave us in his beloved Son Jesus,” the bible says.

“It’s, all that matter’s in life,” as I continue to process and understand the ways of life as I grow older away from home. I feel bolder, than, feeling grumpy with sadness and sorrow, while life has changed into a new chapter – which still needs to be written into the books of life. “A bumpy road,” yes, which yet to be seen without the fortune-telling of events, yet to be seen in the future years to come.

It’s been years, since, I’ve read the Bible and the creation’s of life in which God created for us all. I’ve dealt with loved one’s who have passed on in the past, but non of them has hit me as hard as My Mother’s recent death. As I said earlier, I feel “bold and calm,” as my Mother passed away, but life’s changes will be harder to muster as my Dad and I deal with the loss of a dear love and spiritual person in our lives for many years.

The memories of my Mother still flash across my eyes, as I go on with life here on Earth, as she lives free of pain and suffering from the heaven’s and beyond.

It seem’s like this is “Chapter Two – the new beginning?”.

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Shockwave – Sadness never stops


blogpix3.jpgAs I continue my “Shockwave Series,” while dealing with the passing of my Mother almost two week ago from last Sunday. I’ve stumbled away from work at my regular job, as, I continue to evaluate and process the ordeal of losing a beloved family member, whom, I’ve been entirely close too for many years – fifty-three years to be exact from childhood to adulthood.

I routinely sit at my desk on a daily basis, as I write and work on resurrecting some old writing projects that have been put on hold over the past few weeks, few months to a few years, all while, I look at picture from Christmas 2012 of my late Mother, which is a background on my computer screen of my laptop.

The harsh realities of life are so unreal that, I often think it’s only a dream? I’ve yet to wake up to see, if it is the real deal or not, obviously, it’s the real moniker of life!

The sadness of grief, the solid liquids of steel, as the seasonal likes of Fall start’s to settle into the Midwest, life isn’t yet taken for granted. But, lives in amazement with daring puzzles to be solved with the revealing likes of Sherlock Holmes, Thomas Sullivan Magnum or novelist turned private detective, Richard Castle, well all looking to find the answers to one of life’s most daring puzzles.

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Life runs like a spring rushing from the famed Colorado or Snake River’s, it’s refreshing to hear familiar sounds of water rushing down the paths of the empty canyon’s, creek and rivers. Many have never seen in these famed canyon’s in their lifetimes – the high canyon’s dwell rich history of ancestry of America’s pastime, since the last great battle of General Custer and his men at Little Big Horn, Montana in 1876.

Forever in the hearts of those that loved and cherished the friendship, comfort and companionship of my Mother, life is still deluged with mysteries of the unknown, rather it’s on Earth or in Heaven, the truth is to be told that the memories live forever in the hearts of those that were touched forever, perhaps, that’s the truth, “the mystified truth of life.”

The sadness and sorrow never stops, but the healing of faith is just starting with a new beginning in store for life.

Writing the battle


uvstrongThere may be change, as I continue my battle with Cancer – likely, a new lease on life is in store for the time being?

Last week, I got the results back from my recent scans on the latest prognosis with my current treatment (Chemotherapy).

I chose to fight the disease with my Oncologist, rather than let the low life disease take me for granted, “no way Jose is that going to happen, that’s for damn sure!” I will continue the battle.

The battle continues as I take in my sixth round of Chemotherapy, while I await my doctor’s return from his oversea’s vacation to see what his next step will be with my course of treatment.

Change is always good news as they say, especially when the Chemotherapy seems to be doing its job and my body is responding well to treatment, something the Cancer team likes to see on their part as far as treatment is concerned.

It gives them a better perspective on extending the patient’s lease on life.  As for me? It’s just another dose with a new lease on life. The news couldn’t come at a better time, because I was expecting the worst possible outcome, when treatment would have not worked and my body may have rejected it all. Literally this isn’t the case with this round on the battlefield – its awesome news!

Fighting the “war on cancer” with Chemotherapy has done an awesome job has I transitioned to a new life in the Midwestern states of the Great Lakes nearly a year ago coming this December.

What can be more astounding than doing a rain dance, when the fall rains and chillier weather is upon us, as we work our way toward Halloween, the holidays and beyond? Nada, it’s just the greek sauce on the pasta that makes things sweeter than the Amish cornstalks and the ripeness of  the great Northwest Red Apples.

I feel stronger, better, and healthier to say – I mus say, I was probably on the mist of losing life, when it was all discovered in the four months since, its discovery.

My thought is you either kick cancer’s ass or you don’t. I’d rather kick its butt rather than let it do what it wants to do with my life cancerwise and kill me in the long run, as I say, “it ain’t gonna happen Gracie, I’m gonna keep running to third base and score a “home run,” as I smack the ball out of the goddamn ballpark with a spanking new Louisville Slugger made just for the occasion of beating the disease to the core.

My Chemotherapy treatment seems to be the best method and route to go as I see it in today’s world of modern medicine, as for other’s, their treatment may adversely be different from mine and the suggestion of their Oncologist.

Life is precious enough to continue living out the next fifty years or more – but, surviving the rounds of treatment and the prognosis of surviving the disease is probably one the best choices I could have made has I mentioned elsewhere in this blog.

It was a choice, not only a good one, but a precious one at hand, while taking a leap of faith and see where it goes – the gamble was all I needed to play my cards at hand and hopefully, just hopefully it was all I needed, perhaps, I may have won the jackpot on life?

The fight and the war on cancer continues as they say in the Army – “hooah!,” which is always a good thing, while the Marines Semper Fi the battle at will.

A Little Writer’s Gem


You know it’s hard to find one of those little gems of a place where you can enjoy the agony of the day to blog and write. I found just the place, last week and I made the return to today to try out their Chicago or New York Style Pizza, which turns out to be good to say, compared to some of the others that I have tried over the years.

The place houses three different businesses under one roof, aLTaglio’s Pizza, Press Start Brewery and a small video arcade gaming center that serves the heard of Downtown Eugene at 13th and Willamette Street’s, across from Eugene Springfield Fire Station One.

The best part of it is that you get to watch the fire crews from Station One come and leave the station while responding to Emergencies with their light’s and Siren’s on as they leave the station at any given time of the day of the day during the station’s 24 hour shift’s everyday and night.

Kinda reminds me of watching the late 1970’s Drama Series “Emergency!”, based on the Los Angeles County Fire Department Paramedics of the fictional LACOFD Station 51 in Carson, Ca., which in reality is known as Station 127 and is a real LACOFD working fire station.

What I really like about this place, it’s centrally located in the heart of Downtown Eugene and that’s all that matters to my genes as a writer – at least I’m not one of those castaways lost from a three hour tour off the Hawaiian Islands with Gilligan, the Skipper and all….!

7th Anniversary blogging!


Today marks my 7th Anniversary blogging – several years ago, I asked myself, “where am I going with this blog and why?”

Some 200+ blogs later and seven years of writing, I still don’t have the answer to that question – oh well, “frubar!”.

At least I’m writing and blogging that’s all that matters in my seven years so far.

I look forward to another seven years into the future and more blogs later to top it off when I get to year 14 or 15.

Indeed this should be fun, stay tuned.